We Are Going To Be OK!!!

When my ex- husband and I separated it was very hard.  I cried a lot.  I couldn't believe I was going to be divorced.  I tried to hide my sadness from my kids, but my little girls are very intuitive.  My oldest always knew when I had been crying.   She also noticed that my friends stopped calling me.    She saw that I no longer went to church. I couldn't deal with it.     She saw the friends I had my entire life, were no longer my friends, but were my ex husband's friends.    It was hard.   She looked through my smile and saw my pain, my little girl.   

Soon after my separation, my oldest said "I guess my dad just wasn't the right man for you."    WOW!!!! She was only 7 at the time.   I couldn't believe it.    She saw my unhappiness in my marriage.  I tried to hide it, but she saw it.    Whenever we talked about the separation and impending divorce, I always looked at my girls and told them "We will be OK!"  I told them over and over again, their mom was tough, and we would be OK.  This became my motto.  Whenever she questioned things.  I reassured her of my love.  I told her, her father loved her as well.   I told her "We would be OK."   I said it with emphasis and belief.  I honestly had to be OK for the sake of my girls.    If they saw a Mom who fell apart constantly, then they would not be strong.    That is not the example I wanted for my girls.

It's only been a year and a few months.  My divorce is completely final.  I am in love with another man.  He is more than I ever hoped or dreamed.  He and I truly are best friends and talk constantly.   He adores me and my girls.  I am a package and he gets that.   My girls are reassured they are loved constantly.   They know I love them, and My New  Love loves them.    I don't need to reassure them as much that we will be OK, because they see it.   When they are with me, they know it and they feel it.     I gave up a lot when I left my ex-husband, but I was very unhappy.    I didn't realize how much my kids saw it, but they did.    I gave up money, my  health insurance, my house, one of my dogs, being able to stay home, and ultimately a church family, and best friends.   It was terrifying!  Now, I am so much better.   I am OK.  I still have sad days because I miss my dog, and my best friend.  I have had to realize my  friends weren't  true, and neither were some of the people I had worshipped with and admired for most of my life. I HATE not having money, but happiness, contentment, and peace of mind are more important than money in the bank.    Can I get an "Amen!"?

My girls are doing well in school.   My oldest is a very strong in math.   She has some difficulty in reading, but contiues to improve.  She has wonderful friends.    One of her little friends, "is her true, true friend, because she understands."   My youngest is ready for kindergarten, but her father wants to hold her back.   He says she has emotional issues, and has been through a lot of turmoil.   She doesn't, and she is better than fine, but fighting it is too tough, and emotionally draining on me, and then the girls because I can't be the loving Mom my girls need.  My girls believe they are OK.    So many people told me I was going to mess up their lives.   They would never recover.   I knew they would.  I have and had faith in my kids.    I knew they would have issues if I stayed in an unhappy marriage, or if I did what I needed to do, by leaving their father.    There would be issues either way.  Who doesn't have an issue here and there?  

I really believe my girls and I are going to continue to be OK.   I don't just believe it, I feel it throughout my entire being.  

Happiness does not come from others, it does come from within, but sometimes we need people to help us feel valued enough to find the happiness within ourselves.   Sometimes in order to be happy, it takes courage to do something that is difficult.   True happiness comes after hurt and pain, and healing.   Happiness can be achieved.   It’s ok to need a friend to extend a hand to walk across the bridge of loneliness to the luscious hills of happiness and calm.

A friend sent this to me, and I wanted to share.

A Creed To Live By
Written by Melissa MacDougal

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.

It is because we are different that each of us are special. Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only do what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don't let life slip through your fingers by living in the past or in the future. By living one day at a time you live all days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible. The fastest way to lose love is to hold to it tightly, and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope, to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

"Some times a day should end with  flowers...." This is a quote from A Man On Women

Some days are rough.   The kids fight.   The listening skills are not there.   The playroom is a mess, despite the number of times the children have been asked to clean.  The water dispenser on the fridge continues to run.  The oldest child makes a long distance call to another country, while the youngest child occupies Mommy.   One thing after another continues to happen.   Totally frustrated, feeling like a container of weeds should be on the counter,  you look up and see a vase full of beautiful flowers.   Some days no matter how rough, should end with flowers.

Husbands and boyfriends should treat their wives or girlfriends to flowers.   If you are not in a relationship, treat yourself.   If you love flowers, and your husband or boyfriend doesn't give them to you, go buy them yourself.   I started doing that.  I realized if I wanted flowers, I would buy them because I was worth it.  A vase full of flowers, or even a single rose can brighten a room.   A day ending in flowers creates a feeling of hope that tomorrow will be better.    When a day ends with flowers, a day can also begin with flowers.

No matter how bad yesterday was,

No matter how sad today is.

There is always tomorrow,

and with tomorrow comes a new day and a new chance to be happy.